A friend shared this article: http://thoughtcatalog.com/laitin-amanda/2014/02/10-confessions-from-an-introvert/
Here are some extra thoughts, and how it applies to me personally:
Introvert awareness. I resonate with most of this. As much as I like to go out, it’s a drain. It’s an expensive thing, energywise to be out. I enjoy it, but it’s tough on occasion. I really click with that idea that interactions cost currency. Also, if those who know me don’t think I’m an introvert, I’m 41. I’ve learned to fake it. I can pass. I’m getting too old and cranky to try much to do that anymore though.
The best way to draw an introvert out of a shell, or to allow an introvert to come out, more accurately, is not to make a big deal of it. As soon, as I perceive that a person is judging me because I don’t want to talk about sports or some shit, I shut down, and write them off…more or less forever. Like it’s hard to redeem yourself. Like, that’s an expensive interaction with no ROI. Why bother. I got people in my life I treasure, and my alone time is better than forced awkward death march toward social obligation. I’m no rebel, but I’m pretty tired of society telling me what to do. I think I’m going to be ok with letting it down in some of those expectations of how long I have to endure an interaction I don’t want to do.
I do, however, love beezy, glib, banter-y conversation. Like talking and not saying shit. Wordplaying to be the point of it being like jazz imrov, or at least actual comedy imrov. Doing bits. I love it. It’s almost a character for me. You can do more when you have the power of anonymity. And if you affect a character, no one knows who you really are. It’s safe. If you’re in my inner circle, I really love banter.
What I hate is when a stranger tries to get deep. For instance, If you presume I have a normal family life, and ask me about it. I try to demure out of it, and you offer sympathy (not empathy) as you keep prying, especially if I’m out in a bar trying to not be bummed the fuck out. I’m contemplating if you’re worth the assault charge. I’m doing the statistics in my head. Or if a stranger makes presumptions about what I’m going to say. If you ask me a question, and based on a preconceived notion, I can hear you have already answered for me when you ask me the question, fuck you. I will go meta to the situation. point out that you are horrible. That I don’t need to defend myself to you. I owe you nothing. And remind you that your’e horrible.
Also, if every little thing is “weird” and you have to comment on it, and that’s all you say, I have written you off. You’re a waste of space and not worth talking to with any sincerity. “You put tabasco on your eggs? That’s weird!” I get it. You’re narrow minded. Very tiny things challenge your world view. I don’t need a color commentary. I’m not here to blow anyone’s minds. I’m just trying to make it through my day, like anyone else.
There’s really no middle ground with me. I have a tight, circle of friends who know more about me than they probably care to on occasion. (Been suggested any interesting facebook groups, guys?) And then a huge group, or on a stage…something where the interaction isn’t two-way. I like that. But a small networking thing, like they mention in the article. Horrible. The worst.
Any way, some extra, personal insight into an already pretty good article. I’m glad people are talking about this more. There is a stigma. I’ve been ashamed of it most of my life until the internet. Really. And I have a group of really fun, actually quite outgoing under many circumstances, group of friends who identify with this.
Do you think, right now a group of nomadic, borderline-literate shepherds are writing a book on how to live that will be shoddy, inconsistent, morally repugnant, and just plain dumb, yet in 2,000 years people will go: nailed it!
Anonymous asked: Have I told you how awesome you are, today? I meant to ;)
Thanks. I wish you weren’t anonymous so I could pat you on the back too.