March 2010
40 posts
eject: My story about the film 'Monster House' →
I had totally forgotten about these emails until the two tweets above jogged my memory. This is a story about the nicest thing a non-relative has taken the time to do for one of my children without getting paid for it. When Salinger was 7 she became plagued with nightmares about the…
Mar 31st
2,606 notes
There's something wrong...
with my brain and my heart. I think i’m going to start trying to find out what it is. That answer better lie within the vin diagram of drinking whiskey and chronic masturbation as a process of self-discovery.
Mar 27th
Mar 27th
12 notes
Mar 26th
733 notes
Mar 25th
16 notes
Mar 25th
69 notes
Vanilla
Dim bulbs, who defend the status quo and have unspectacular lives, always seem to find a need to point out you’re not like them. 
Mar 25th
I think
I enabled replies.
Mar 22nd
1 note
I should have waited to buy that $13 bottle of...
It's Dellsum. It's orange flavored. I kept my receipt.
Mar 22nd
Mar 22nd
3 notes
Mar 21st
1,044 notes
Mar 20th
Mar 18th
2 notes
robinmccauley: If you hit a deer with your car in Illinois, you will get a ticket for hitting state property. IF A DEER RUNS OUT IN FRONT OF YOUR CAR AND YOU HIT IT EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T WANT TO, YOU WILL GET A TICKET. If you hunt deer, that’s okay. If you accidentally hit a deer with your car, you’re ruining state property.  No more deer killing. :( Saturday plans = wrecked.
Mar 18th
2 notes
Mar 17th
Mar 15th
2 tags
Some Sunday Thoughts
I’m not a theologian. Why the hell would I dedicate myself to something I hate? But I do dedicate a chunk of time to resisting the horrible, invasive blight that is christianity. Christianity inserts itself into our lives at the minimum, on an annoying level, and at the top a dangerous, oppressive, deadly level. The conviction, assertive language, and frequency with witch I remark and...
Mar 15th
Mar 13th
23 notes
Mar 13th
364 notes
Mar 13th
20 notes
Torn Stocking pics, and pithy saying in courier
That’s what tumblr is to me. I like them both for very different reasons. (The self-indulgent formspring shit clogging up the stream, i could do without.)
Mar 12th
1 note
Mar 11th
Mar 9th
116 notes
Mar 9th
8 notes
The waspy chick in the MGD 64 commercial looks...
Courage! You’ll make it! Why does everyone looks SOOOOO put upon in this commercial? Like, “There’s no way we’ll get through this. This is worse than Pampered-Chef-Gate ‘07!” And the dudes look like, “We’d like to be there for you, but we’re just not strong enough! Damnint! We’re just not!” ...
Mar 9th
Mar 7th
27 notes
Mar 7th
5 notes
Mar 7th
13 notes
Mar 6th
11 notes
Over-compensating for being high-rent, racist,...
Why is she so emphatic about a Jay-Z song being on? It’s the theme she hits the hardest. Why the hell?
Mar 6th
Afraid of dark or flying away?`
Have you ever had to wave your hands while dropping a duke to activate the motion detector on a bathroom light?
Mar 6th
Mar 5th
109 notes
“The democrats are such pussies. We should have been all driving electric cars to...”
– Me. Just now.
Mar 4th
Mar 4th
5 notes
When gone be my time, lord?
When will Tumblr have a fuckyeahtimstotz?
Mar 4th
Mar 4th
8 notes
Project Fake RT
I was going to go with Ersatz to sound more high-falutin’, but decided against it. I’m going to start ReTweeting people with false quotes. This will be satire (and not libel}. For instance, I might say: RT @ParisHilton: It’s been a while since you guys seen my vag. Let’s do this. Her followers won’t see it unless: They are following me also They are not merely...
Mar 4th
1 tag
My Self Esteem...
Has gone through the roof since they got rid of tumblarity.
Mar 4th
Mar 3rd
346 notes
Mar 3rd
130 notes